Quote Board

Being a Collection of Quotes that have been taken most scandalously out of Context and presented for Amusement and Jollity. A Great Deal of Which have been collected from the Quote Board in the State of Confusion, of which the Writer at one time held the dubious Positions of Minister of War and Peace, and the rest of the Library, Immigration and Naturalization. Having since ex-Migrated, he hopes that the Circulation of these Bits of Nonsense will inspire a Rush for the Next Installment of Sillye Quotes. Also Included are quotes which have been dug up from the Before Time.

As there is No One of that State who is Innocent, their Names have not been removed for their Protection.

Is this what you'd call 'frolic'? (boy 1, holding a banana)
No, that's referred to as 'phallic'. (boy 2 replies)
'Frolic' is what you do with it! (girl)

Ah, the curse of Tiresias and Cassandra, who, like me, should have kept their mouths shut! _Devon

He had a squid! _Wendy
He certainly DID! _Sandy

Hot damn, spam, yer goin' down! _Gurd

You have to hold it down and screw it! _Wendy

I had forgotten how tightly we had screwed it in, in our drunken revelry. _Devon

I suppose anyone can look 'only human' when they're running from Evil Incarnate. _Wendy

You're a left-handed, evil, sinister woman... (drawing sword) and you must be...worshipped! _Devon

Nobody's asking him to bob his head up and down! _Wendy

I'm not going to sit here and take this from you! _girl
Then lay down and take it. _boy

Luckily death, like life, is ephemeral. _Errol

If we're getting into a three-way, I AM changing into sweats. _Wendy

I am the Toaster Messiah! _Justin

Hurry up, I'm getting a headache staying unprotected... _Wendy

Now you've got a pissed grammarian on your hands... _Wendy
You're not on my hands, you're on my hip. _Steffan
You never complained about that before... _Wendy
I'm not complaining now -- I'm just pointing it out. _Steffan
You certainly are pointing it out, but I shouldn't have mentioned that, either. _Wendy

That's okay, Sandy, you don't have to tell us whether he has a sticky tongue unless you want to. _Steffan
Yerk! _Sandy
Or how long it is. _Wendy
Yuck! _Sandy
The tongue, either. _Steffan

Quick! Take me prisoner, you fool! _Steffan

When you wrestle dirty, you have to pay the piper. _Devon
The way you wrestle, you'll have to pay the chiropractor! _Wendy
If I played any dirtier, I'd be paying the Family Planning Clinic. _Devon

I kick the head down the tunnel... I don't have the 'soccer' skill... _{Professor Cliffmoore, Aurora Foundation}

I'm sorry, I can't hug you, I have salsa in my blouse... _{A co-worker}

I'm tired, I have a headache, and the wasps of regret are buzzing around the soft wet thing that is my heart. _Devon
Bug spray? _Steffan

Fortunately we've replaced all of the gunpowder in Lawrence's ammo with Folger's_TM crystals... let's see if he can tell the difference... _Steffan

On the contrary, now is the perfect time to pelt Melinda with stroganoff! _Steffan

So, that's what the third setting does... _Devon

A pink wedge or not a pink wedge... that is the question...
whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows
of outrageous Luke Skywalker, or to take arms against a sea of Han Solo _{Devon, during Star Wars Trivial Pursuit}

(during a particularly fatal adventure, which David seems to specialize in)
Roll your dice, move your mice... _David
(in a soft, meek but very eager voice, such as you would choose to render it in all caps, but for its softness)
Move lots of mice! _Wendy

I want 200,00 gold pieces--I am NOT a greedy Paladin! _{Sir Reginald, Silver Rain}

Dwarf fall down, go boom, where's the elf? _{Sir Reginald, Silver Rain}

Is there some non-goat way we can do this? _{Captain Hodge, Aurora Foundation}

I'd invent plate tectonics, but it has no cash value... _{Professor Cliffmoore, Aurora Foundation}