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Blue Tomb

"Hey, Elvis, we want you to star in an Egyptian classic... whatcha think?"
"Hey, baby, is it 'Antony and Cleopatra'?"
"No, King, it's called 'The Mummy'"
"Aw, man, I guess I don't get a harem..."
"Umm, let me talk to the screenwriters..."

Click here for the lyrics to the original song.
Blue Tomb
Wherein I rest all alone
Without my kidneys or heart,
With gauze across every bone.
Blue Tomb
Filled with my riches and splendor,
The stuff that tomb thieves break in for,
The folks I built all these traps for

And then there stealthily appeared somebody
A thief who needed to be told
How dumb it is to wake a sleeping mummy
When you creep in and try to steal his gold

Blue Tomb
I raised a sepulchral moan
I tore the vagrant apart
And smashed his head with a stone

Blue Tomb
Now I'm no longer alone,
I have his kidneys and heart
And he has found a new home--

Devon Apple, August 10, 2000

Unless otherwise credited, all parodies Devon Apple 2015
Original songs and lyrics used without permission for purposes of reference.
Like they care.

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